It’s time to begin our service.
And I am so glad you are here. I send you my love and greetings. And as always, I appreciate that many different ones who have reached out over the past week. You are all in our prayers, and I ask everyone listening to continue to lift up all our brothers and sisters in prayer around the world. There are so many who are walking this same path, and dealing with all the unique challenges that come with it.
We are continuing to hear good reports from all over the world, and I rejoice at that. But we also hear of the struggles many face because of the persecution. Many of the people in the message believe they are doing God service by mistreating those who leave, just like the Jews of old thought they were doing God a service when they killed and martyred the early Christians. But the truth is, they are blinded by a false system of religion. It is zeal, but not according to knowledge. And so we thank God for all the victories, but we continue to pray for all those who are still in need of God’s sustaining power each and every day.
If this is your first time joining us, and you wonder who we are and what we are up to, my name is Charles Paisley. I, and most of our listeners here, are formerly members of the cult following of William Branham known as The Message. The Message is a global doomsday cult with millions of members. The Message started here in Jeffersonville, Indiana, and spread all over the world. I am formerly associate pastor of the second oldest message church in the world, right here in the Jeffersonville area. And this is a little mission we operate to offer encouragement to those leaving the message and to take a look at the plain reading of scripture as we seek to wash out of our minds what, for most of us, has been a lifetime of indoctrination.
Today we are resuming our study of the book of Ephesians, and we are finally reaching the sixth and final chapter of this book of Ephesians. I invite you to open your Bibles and turn there with me. I will be reading the first four verses of the sixth chapter.
Ephesians 6
English Standard Version
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),
3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Prayer
Let us pray.
Lord God, we pray that You bless our study today. Help us to understand what we read. Help us to find the right way to apply it to our lives. As we have asked before, we ask again: What we have not, give us; what we know not, teach us; and what we are not, make us. This we ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Introduction
Well, I am pleased we have finally made it to the last chapter of Ephesians. I went back and made a little count this morning, and this is the 43rd lesson since we started the book of Ephesians. I will be honest, I didn’t expect it to take this long when we started, but I am glad we have taken our time.
There are so many topics here in the book of Ephesians that are so important to the system of religion we have escaped from. But when we actually step back to look at the plain reading of the Bible, we find that it really all just crumbles. These verses of scripture were always presented to us in one particular way, and with a heavy hand, and most of us never even heard an alternative view. And then when we actually hear and see the alternative, we discover that it is actually far simpler and more true to the text of scripture.
So much of what we have been taught to believe is based on a misreading of scripture to fit the agenda of man, and this passage today is no different.
Now, before we dive into examining these verses, I want to refresh your memory and remind you of the broader context of this passage. The book of Ephesians, like almost all of Paul’s epistles, can be broken into two parts. The first half of this book has been on doctrine, and since the fourth chapter, Paul has been dealing with conduct, behavior, and practice.
You might say the second half of the epistle is a practical implementation of the Christian faith. As Paul has dealt with Christian conduct, he worked his way down through the fifth chapter and made a point of submitting ourselves to one another. He warned against being drunken or intoxicated and losing self-control. Instead of being drunken, intoxicated, or losing self-control, the alternative was to submit to one another.
After telling all the Christians universally to submit to each other, Paul then started to break down ways in which that would work. He first dealt with mutual submission between husbands and wives in marriage. Here, in what we are looking at today, he is looking at submission between parents and children. And then, as we will go on to read in our next lesson, he looks at mutual submission between employers and employees.
So today, we are in the section of this epistle looking at conduct, and we are in the middle of the section on Paul giving more details on this mutual submission within the church.
Now, as I approach these verses today, I do so with the same caution I did with the verses on marriage. In the Message, there were many people, including a lot of preachers, who used the verses about marriage to empower themselves and trap their wives in abusive marriages. I think the truth is that this is what William Branham did himself. There is quite a bit of evidence, just from listening to William Branham tapes, that he was abusing his own wife.
And the truth is, he was also abusing his own children. In fact, he did so publicly on quite a few occasions. And by abuse, I don’t mean godly discipline, but I mean harsh, cruel, destructive discipline which is totally out of line with what the apostle Paul says here.
And sadly, just like the verses on marriage have been used to justify abuse, so too verses like these have been used to justify abuse.
And as I say that, I want to be careful. There are many people who did have loving homes with good parents in the Message, but there were also many people with abusive homes. In fact, some homes were deeply abusive.
Some of that was so widespread and so deeply baked into the Message that there are a lot of people who think the abuse they suffered as children was normal and that every home was like that.
But there is a big difference between a loving home and an abusive home, and you often see that in the lives of the children that are produced by the home. Because the way those children are nurtured in their formative years, in most cases, will impact the entire course of their lives.
And there are, I hate to say it, quite a few people who have been in very abusive homes within the Message, and that treatment they endured has negatively impacted their whole lives. It’s not a little thing to be dismissed, and when we approach scriptures like these on this side of the cult, I feel compelled to make sure we approach them in such a way that a lot of our emphasis has to land on how these verses are not an empowerment for abuse.
So, if you are listening to this today, I hope you can understand that perspective and appreciate why we give that attention.
Many Message homes were not typical Christian homes. In fact, there are people in the Message who are not Christian at all – they were just Message believers practicing only believism. And in the name of that false religion, they grossly abused their families, and it was enabled by the Message community around them. Nothing was ever done to help the victims, ever. The Message enables, supports, and protects abuse.
And all you have to do is look at the lives of men like Kevin Crase or James Allen, and you will see exactly what I am talking about. Take off the blinders, and look.
Obey your parents
Now, as we come here to verse one, let me read it. Paul writes:
“1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”
At its most basic level, I think we all understand what this means. It is pretty straightforward. When we are children, we need to listen to and respect our parents. They are our caregivers; they are our providers. And in a good home, our parents will love us, and even though we may not understand it, our parents have our best interests in mind.
I believe most of us with children understand that. There is something that happens when those little babies are born. It’s a hard thing to explain, but God has built into human nature something that just causes a mom and a dad to love that little baby. They would do anything to take care of that little baby, and they have its best interest in mind. And as it grows and starts to walk and talk, they will put up gates to keep it from falling down the stairs. They will put little covers on the electrical outlets. They do all these different sorts of things to protect that child. They put the little child in a playpen, so it can play safely.
And they do it to keep the child safe. And when you think about a little child, they may want to get out of that playpen. They may find ways to stack things up and climb out, and the next thing you know, they are climbing the bookcase and pulling it over on themselves. I speak from experience. So that little child doesn’t realize it, but they are in that playpen for their safety, to keep them from climbing the book
case and pulling it over on themselves. As children grow up, those things continue, just in different ways. Parents continue to set boundaries for their children, not because they are mean or cruel, but because they are there for the protection of those children. It might start with a playpen, but pretty soon they play outside, and you tell them – now don’t you go in the street. More boundaries. And eventually, they reach the age where they can understand what you are telling them. And there is a good reason you tell them not to play in the street – because you don’t want to see them get run over by a car. We have their well-being in mind as we set those boundaries.
As we read what Paul writes here in Ephesians 6, I believe we can see this is certainly the sort of thing he has in mind. We can detect that as we read verses 2 and 3. Let me read it to you:
“1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
2 Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with a promise),
3 that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
When I was a kid growing up in the Message, I always more or less took it, as the preachers taught, that verse 3 was about a special supernatural blessing. If you obeyed your parents, then you might live to be as old as Abraham or something.
Truth be told, that is how it was presented. But that is not really it at all, I don’t think.
There are lots of people who have been very obedient to their parents, and they die at a normal life span like everyone else. But those boundaries that parents set – putting that little one in the playpen, saying don’t play in the street – parents have their children’s best interest in mind. And when children obey their parents, when they stay out of the street, when they don’t climb the bookcases, when they respect all the different boundaries their parents give them, it literally is a protection on their lives.
Children, obey your parents, so you can have a long life. Otherwise, you might get run over by a car in the street. Your parents know more than you do, so trust them and respect them.
I hope that you can all see and understand that. As those children get older, in the world we live in today, there can be a lot of boundaries. We limit them on the internet. We limit them on social media. There are predators out there, and we want to protect them from those things. There are lots of things we do as parents to keep our children safe. As I read what Paul says here, and the emphasis he places on the long life, I think it’s very easy to say here, Paul is not necessarily giving some blanket rule where a parent can lord over their children like a master and a slave. But this is about, first and foremost, the love and nurture of that child, about protecting their lives so they can grow up.
In The Lord
Now, there is a second thing here in verse 1 I want to draw your attention to. Paul wrote:
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord…
In the Lord. Did you catch that? Paul put a caveat on there: Obey them, in the Lord.
And we might wonder, what does that mean? And I will give you a couple of things to think about. The first thing is this: Do you remember how, through the first three chapters of Ephesians, Paul kept saying “In Him, In Him, In Him”? And now here, he says, “in the Lord.” I would suggest to you that I think there is an indication that Paul is saying, Children, obey your Christian parents. Obey your parents who are in the Lord.
Which does not necessarily mean not to obey parents who are not Christians. But Paul is really just silent on that matter. I would suggest to you, verse 1 only applies to obeying parents who are Christian, who are in the Lord.
Of course, we should still respect our parents if they are not Christians. But I believe that is going to follow different advice and different guidance. And Paul is not dealing with that here. And so, my point is this: I don’t believe this guidance from Paul can be applied to situations where your parents are not Christians because they are not in the Lord.
And, for many people who are exiting the message, it’s up to you to make some of those judgments regarding your parents. Are they in the Lord? Or are they in the message?
Are they Christians? Are they people who are walking in a way that we can identify them with Christ? And you may wonder how can we do that? And we just hear the words of Jesus. He said, “by this will all men know you are my disciples because you love one another as I have loved you.”
And I think the simple answer is that. Do they love you in the unconditional way that Christ loves you?
And if they do not—then—maybe they are not Christians because they are failing to do the one thing which Christ said would be a mark to identify His disciples.
And if our parents are not Christians, who are not unconditionally loving us, then verse one, I would suggest, does not necessarily apply to our situation.
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
And so that is for you to decide, as individuals. And if you truly find that your parents are not in the Lord, then this verse is not really dealing with your situation.
And we would need to go elsewhere in the Bible to find how to deal with that situation. And the Bible does give us guidance for how to deal with people who are railers and strikers and abusive and cruel. And it gives us guidance for how to deal with people who are under delusions and involved in false religions. And those are the areas of scripture we would find our answers for how to respond to those situations.
The First Commandment With Promise
Now there in verses 2 and 3, there is another point I want to make. Notice how Paul brings in the Ten Commandments here. And that is interesting, isn’t it? In verses 2 and 3, Paul is citing the Ten Commandments, which is from the law.
And this is one of the big verses which preachers may use to tell us the law is still in effect. That we still need to keep the Ten Commandments or other parts of the law because here, Paul seems to be citing the law, and telling children to obey their parents because of the law of Moses. And out of context, that might sound like a good argument. But that is why it is important to always keep the whole in mind, and not take things out of context.
If you remember, chapter 2, and verse 14, Paul said that the law was abolished. The law is abolished. And if you go back in our lessons, we covered that in detail when we went over that verse.
Paul said the law is abolished in chapter 2, but here in chapter 6, he quotes the law.
And it would be natural for us to wonder, what is this about? Because it seems like a contradiction, doesn’t it? It is a contradiction for Paul to say the law is abolished and then three chapters later tell people to obey the law.
So what is this about? How are we to make sense of this?
I would encourage you to go back to that older lesson if you want a fuller explanation, but let me just give you a short summary here.
The law is indeed abolished, it is over. It has no authority. And Paul has very clearly and carefully crafted everything he has said up to this point as hanging on Jesus Christ. The reason we should not steal is because of the example of Jesus. The reason we should have a loving marriage is because of Jesus. The reason we should not get intoxicated is because of Jesus. The reason we should not talk in bad ways is because of Jesus.
Every point about Christian conduct up to this verse has been predicated on the life and teachings of Jesus—not the law. And Paul bases it all on the command of Christ, not the command of the law.
So when we come here to these verses on parents and children, the law comes into the picture. And one possible reason for that is because the circumstances are different.
The law of Christ is for those who are under grace, and who are in Christ. But the law of Moses is for those who are not yet in Christ, who are not yet under grace.
The law, Paul explains in Galatians, is a schoolmaster. To teach us right and wrong. To bring us to a knowledge of what sin is. The law is for the sinner until they come to Christ, and then they have grace, and they are no longer under the schoolmaster.
And children are born sinners. Children are born fallen, and just like all of us, they have to come to their own awareness of sin. They have to come to their own awareness of a need for a savior.
And when we consider it from that perspective, I think it makes sense why Paul would cite the law here at the start of chapter 6. Because these children are Christians, in the sense that they have repented and come into a relationship with Christ as their savior. They are still being trained up. They are still coming to know what is right and what is wrong. And in that time of life, it is the things of the law that teach right and wrong. And so, it’s natural for Paul to bring the law into that picture, in the same way he brings in the law for dealing with criminals in other epistles. The law does still have a place. The law is for the lawless. It is for people who are outside of Christ, to bring them to a knowledge of sin and their need for a savior.
And so, I hope that gives you something to think about, as to why Paul may be citing the law here at the start of chapter 6.
Provoke Not Your Children
Now let’s get to verse 4. Let me read it again:
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),
3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Now what do we see here in verse 4? You remember how Paul kicked off this section by saying, “submit to one another.” Paul started all this out, back in chapter 5, with a call for mutual submission. Paul is in no way suggesting that all these submissions are one-sided, where there is a tyrant who holds all the power and lords over other people. At every step through here, Paul is explaining this submitting to one another in terms of both sides working for the good of the other side.
And here, Paul recognizes children need to be raised and taught right and wrong, to be given boundaries to protect them when they are at an age where they cannot yet understand the consequences of their actions.
A little child does not understand the consequences of playing in the street. They need boundaries and discipline until they understand that for themselves. They need a law. And if they obey, they will do well and survive and grow up.
But on the flip side, the parent has limits. Paul said, “do not provoke your children to anger, or wrath.”
Don’t torment the child. Don’t discipline in an arbitrary way. Help the child understand, help them understand why they shouldn’t play in the street. Help them understand why these boundaries are created. And as that child gets older, they get more independently minded. There can be times where they just cannot see your point of view. And at a certain point, discipline becomes counterproductive. You end up harming your relationship, you end up driving them away. You end up losing your ability to influence them in a positive way. Don’t provoke your children to wrath. There are limits, you can’t push things too far.
There is a point where it’s just not constructive. And that is not a one-size-fits-all thing. We have to know our children, as individuals, and use our judgment in each case.
There is another aspect I think we have to consider here too. Back in chapter 5, where Paul started this explanation, he started this point out as a comparison to being drunk or intoxicated.
And that carries with it, that we need to be fully in control of ourselves to be able to do these things properly. You cannot discipline in anger or rage or in a position where you are not in self-control.
It has to be even-handed, controlled, and purposeful. It’s not just a harsh reaction, or a violent out
burst, or abuse.
And when you think about it that way, I think it comes back again to the fruits of the spirit. Because how do you avoid provoking a child to anger? And I think that in general, it’s the fruit of the spirit. It’s the fruit of the spirit that enables us to have that kind of loving relationship with our children, where we are not provoking them to anger and driving them away from us. Instead, we are living a life where the love of Christ is being demonstrated to them by the fruit of the spirit in our lives.
And that is what will keep us from provoking our children to anger. We need to keep love, joy, peace, patience, and self-control. We have to have kindness, goodness, and faithfulness. And as Paul would say, against such things, there is no law. The law is fulfilled when we are walking in those fruits of the spirit, and it is in the context of those fruits that a child can be brought up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord without them becoming angry and bitter and driving them away.
And when we get to verse 5, it is dealing with bondservants, which we don’t have today. But there are some things in there we can learn from.
So that is it for today. God bless you, and we’ll pick up next week with verse 5.
Witness to Our Children
Let me read this passage one more time, and I will make a final point:
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),
3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
We have here a balanced picture:
- Children should obey their parents.
- Parents should set boundaries, discipline, and instruct their children to bring them to maturity.
- Parents should not do this in a way that pushes the child to react badly against it all.
There are limits placed here on how far parents can go with discipline. If a child is rebellious, the responsibility, once they grow up, ultimately lands on them.
And if we have raised them in a way that shows them the love of God, we have done the right thing.
The scripture gives us all a command to witness the gospel to others. Often, the person we are most capable of sharing it with is our children. By living a godly life, where they can see our sacrificial love, we have an opportunity to show them in our lives a little about how much their heavenly Father loves them.
They should be able to look at us, as their natural fathers, and hopefully get a picture that complements their loving heavenly Father. That is what we should strive for. If we are doing things that paint fathership in a bad light and cause them to not want a relationship with their heavenly Father, that is on us. That is a failure on our part.
We have an obligation to ensure that our children are taught scripture and the ways of God—not forced on them in an oppressive way, but taught to them. As they grow, it is up to them to decide. It is up to them to turn their hearts to God and enter into His saving grace.
You can compel someone to be a Pharisee, but you can’t compel someone to be a Christian. The difference between the Pharisee and the Christian is why they do what they do. The Pharisee does it by compulsion of law; the Christian does it because of love in his heart.
I could make Pharisees all day long. That is what the cult we escaped is doing right now. But it takes a true act of God to make a Christian. You and I are not God; we are just His ambassadors, here to point to the Savior and to the better way.
It’s the same with our children. We are God’s ambassadors to our children. Take that seriously, and raise them to know the Lord. Then it is their choice what to do with that. Amen.
Prayer
Let me close in prayer:
Lord God, we worship You,
And we thank You for the Bible.
We pray for the people of the message and the people who have escaped the message.
You see those who have suffered abuse, sometimes very serious abuse.
We pray for the healing of their spirits.
God, there is only so much man can do,
But You are a miracle worker.
You can heal wounds that are invisible to the eyes,
And we pray You visit those in need with a special peace and comfort today.
This we ask,
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.